They say be careful what you wish for, that you manifest your reality, that you attract what you put out into the universe.
As someone with anxiety that thought terrifies me. I don’t find it comforting, or freeing. It just makes me more anxious.
The sentiment that you create your own reality is freeing in some ways, it means you have control over your direction and destiny, that you can change your life with just a thought.
But I don’t feel empowered by that idea, I feel scared, guilty. Like a failure, like I’m responsible for anything bad that happens to me, that it’s my fault somehow.
Every time ‘manifestation’ gets a mention I get a twinge of anxiety, fearing that my anxious, fearful, dark thoughts are just pulling in more bad and all the bad is my fault. If I just stopped being afraid or anxious or sad then I’d be fixed and could manifest all the good things I dream about. If I just tried harder, if I was better and more disciplined at being positive and happy, then I’d be doing this manifestation thing right. I just need to not feel anxious or depressed and then it’d be all good.
But it’s not that easy.
You can’t just turn off those thoughts, or push away those feelings. Suppressing and denying them doesn’t make them disappear, it just creates a different problem.
So I ask you, how do manifest the good and the beautiful when you’re mired in anxiety and plagued with depression? When day-to-day functioning is a big enough task, how can the universe ask for more from me?
