I realized something today about my striving for self-care and self-compassion. I’ve been preoccupied with accomplishing these self-care practices; I feel compelled to make checklists for self-care: get enough sleep, spend time meditating, make sure you take a walk, do some yoga, don’t forget to relax, put on a face mask and take a break. I feel stressed trying to accomplish the things that are supposed to relax me. The attitude of trying to conquer self-care is the attitude that undermines it. Because self-care, self-compassion, and self-love are not achievements to strive for, but practices to cultivate. They require patience, not anxiety and checklists.
It’s tempting to make self-care another thing on the to-do list, after all, it’s how we treat everything else in life. Put it on the list and constantly work to make that list smaller.
But what’s the point of having that thing on the list in the first place? If the point of all this sweat and hard work and sacrifice is to have rest at some mythical future date, then I have to stop and question the reason for it all. If I’m working to feel happy and rested in the future, then I steal from my present. And what’s the point of killing yourself for a future that none of us is guaranteed?
That’s my lesson from this week. Caring for myself is not a goal to accomplish, stop making everything a race and a struggle. It’s time to relax. It’s time to realize that today is all we have, so don’t destroy yourself today for future peace and happiness.
Give yourself the gift of this very moment, there will always be things to do. And maybe gaining achievements isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Learn to rest. Take a nap and don’t feel guilty. Don’t accomplish anything today. Just be.
